DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ~ 20 February 2021
This has been a theme in clinic of late and something that is often not spoken about, yet so many men and women are suffering in silence. It’s time to talk about it and make it not so hard for those that are suffering to raise and discuss openly without judgement.
What has been presenting alot in clinic is that domestic violence comes in three main forms of abuse – physical, mental and emotional, and sometimes all three. Unfortunately it is often from a partner who they once loved and cared for and now can’t understand how they didn’t see the warning signs earlier.
The cracks start to appear slowly and before they know it they have completely changed from who they were to who they have had to become to feel safe around their perpetrator.
Physical abuse is things like being hit, punched, pushed, raped and having visible signs of harm such as bruises, cuts, bleeding, broken bones, burns, etc. When there is physical violence it can often becomes obvious to others that see the victim and it can be reported with more evidence than the non-physical violence, being mental and emotional. Often an AVO is issued and victims can get out. It still by no means makes it easier to report and there can be long term physical damage.
Mental & Emotional abuse is things like:
- Mental manipulation and control over someone else and what they do
- Isolating another and not allowing them to see their friends/family
- Making another become solely reliant on them for money, support, housing, kids, etc.
- Jealousy, needy behaviour, possessive behaviour, stalking, checking phones
- Making another uneasy, scared and living in fear
- Put-down and told they are no good, worthless, ugly, fat, unable to find anyone better, etc.
- Told certain things will happen if they try to leave
This behaviour can be covert, passive-aggressive to the outside world.
In these situations victims will feel completely trapped, unsupported, doubt themselves, blame themselves and feel like they have no hope of ever getting out and changing their situation, so they often stay and suffer in silence for fear of how much worse it would get if they left. Feeling that they have lost their personal power forever.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, empower yourself with as much information as you can about how to receive the help you need. Seek out people who you can trust and speak to, to assist you with this. Know that you are worthy and deserving of this help and support to break free. While sometimes the situation can be tricky, the main thing is to make sure you are safe and if you have children or dependents, that they are too. Sending empowerment to those who need it.
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 737 732
GUILT ~ 22 December 2020
Guilt is such a deep and interesting emotion and one that can gnaw away at a person’s Soul for years. The definition is a feeling of responsibility for something or someone.
Guilt often tests up for clients as an emotion in a Kinesiology session and one that I often talk about and struggle with in the most bizarre ways, not from things I have done that I feel guilty about but for things ‘I should’ be doing, more often for myself, that I haven’t done.
From my clinic research, I feel this emotion is commonly picked up from childhood and is a learned programmed belief about how you should behave or feel towards your responsibilities. When guilt shows up it means the MIND HAS TAKEN OVER and you have DISCONNECTED from your HEART and FEELINGS. The mind is unable to stop, be still, be centred and be present in the moment to have rational thoughts. Often guilt shows when people find it difficult or impossible to consider to put themselves first or make themself a priority. The focus becomes external and on what others will think and that is when the guilt becomes heightened. The mind is running it’s own old outdated program.
Guilt is related to the Large Intestine meridian in Chinese Medicine and is all about letting things go, clearing out, finding meaning, getting things perfect and feeling compete within.
For me, being a Metal Element Constitution, I often feel guilty for so many things, normally things I have no reason to feel guilty about and I often have to justify myself to myself . When I am doing what I love and teaching Kinesiology on weekends and treating clients late in the evenings, I feel guilty that I am not spending enough quality time with my kids and partner and that I am missing out on connecting with them. Equally I feel guilty when I am spending time with the family that I am not getting business things complete or doing enough for my clients and students. Having your own business can be such a juggle at times and when you are so busy and under a lot of pressure from yourself and others, guilt can creep in.
Right now I am on holidays for the first time in 2020, and as we all know it has been a very big and for me a very busy year, and guess what… yep I feel guilty having stopped and for having a break. I feel like I should be doing more or fitting clients in from my waiting list or back in the office finishing projects that are launching in 2021.
Logically I know this is ridiculous and that I need time off, I need to switch off, I need to rest and I need a break (which I am embracing & loving by the way!). But the inner child conditioning picked up from my Father as a young farmer’s daughter is programmed to keep ‘doing’, ‘pushing’, ‘refining’ and ‘perfecting’. My Dad was a struggling Farmer (like all farmer’s back then) who had to keep pushing, work long hours and be innovative to be able to support our family. He did a great job, but I didn’t see him rest much.
I love working on this type of programming in clients and I have worked on it alot in myself too. It is so intriguing the things we pick up from our parents, their beliefs and ways of doing things, and that these naturally become ours until we recognise them, decide to change them and ultimately break them… and start to carve out a new more aligned path to our own Soul and belief systems.
My goal for 2021 is to be kinder to me and to drop the ‘I have to’ guilty energy and just enjoy each moment for what it is, because each moment is special and nothing is more important than our breath and connection to our heart and those we love and cherish in the present moment. Namaste
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF ~ 2 December 2020
For so many of us, looking after ourselves as a priority can be challenging and hard. It often doesn’t come naturally or seems impossible with living such busy lives. We end up putting those people we care about or feel obligated to help and care for ahead of our own needs.
From a young age we are conditioned to look after and nurture others, do things for others and take care of those around us. This of course is a beautiful and compassionate way to live our lives. However, the flip side is it needs to be balanced with our own self-care, self-nurturing and self-love or we will eventually feel out of balance, drained, empty, burnt out, rundown and feel like we have nothing left to give anyone and sometimes resentment will even set in.
Everyone needs their own love tank to be filled first which requires making change to put yourself first. This can seem hard and overwhelming, not to mention having to set clear boundaries and say ‘no’ to others.
Filling our own tank is important, here is a few suggestions:
- Meditation. Giving gratitude for all the blessings in your life.
- Writing or journaling all the things you love and want to make more time for in your life and set some goals for the short and long term.
- Ring or go visit a friend, connect, have a cuppa and be present with those you love and care about.
- Do activities or hobbies that connect and activate your inner child heart energy. Do things that allow yourself to have fun, feel, smile and that bring you joy.
- Get outside and sit in the sunshine to gain some fire energy in the body. Recognise your value and worth. Spend time connecting with yourself and make time to read a book or watch your favourite series without guilt.
- Get creative, use your hands and make something, paint, draw, bake, etc. Something that nurtures you and makes you feel content on the inside.
- Get the physical body moving to increase your energy levels and motivation. Go for a walk, collect things from nature and do things that energise your physical body. Enjoy a pedicure, body massage or facial.
Nurturing and nourishing ourselves and filling up our own tank is important. What are you going to do for you today?
EMBODIMENT ~ 11 October 2020
Are you embodying everything you are, all that you have become and everything you have to offer? Or are you perhaps hiding your true self through fear of what others may think of you? Having a successful small business that flourishes comes from embodying your true self – your unique authentic talents, gifts and creations.
When I am mentoring other business owners and practitioners I am often surprised that they don’t know who they want to be as a practitioner or business or what the goal of their business is, they don’t have a plan. They nearly always go straight into referencing someone else (normally on social media that they don’t even know) that they want to be like. Someone who may have more followers or likes on posts than them, who seem ‘successful’ in their eyes, all based on perception and quite often a long way from reality. There mistake is right there, they are focusing outside themselves.
My job as a mentor is to support and guide others to find their true authentic self and passion. I enjoy diving in and discovering what lights others up in their business. A message I continually share is, focus on you and what you want to share and achieve. Stop comparing yourself to others, trying to compete or replicate someone else. In business, no matter what business, trying to be like someone else NEVER works and it can actually have a negative impact on your business.
Having a successful business requires:
- An authentic unique vision & creations
- Passion and love for your business and what you are offering
- Hard work and sometimes long hours
- Commitment to showing up as you every day in your business
All of this authentic action equals success AND the energy that radiates into the universe will attract more people to you than you ever thought imaginable.
If you are a practitioner or business owner trying to get ahead in your industry, my best advice is BE YOU, find your unique offering, something that excites your heart. Be open, share you, inspire others with your wisdom and all that you have to offer. Let your authenticity shine and your light will naturally attract others.
YOUR PAST, YOUR STORY, YOUR LESSONS ~ 3 October 2020
Everyone has a past and their own ‘story’. Your past, where you have come from, your upbringing and your ‘story’ makes you the incredible, unique and strong person you are today.
Before judging someone else (or yourself), pause and put yourself in their shoes, see their younger inner child. Consider their feelings and that perhaps they have a story, and maybe not a great story, maybe even a traumatic story that they have buried deep within themselves due to fear, pain, sadness, loss, grief, trauma, hurt, difficulty, embarrassment, torture, abandonment, hatred, guilt or something else. A story from their past that has them:
- Acting in different ways – maybe trying to push through barriers from their past?
- Having different or unusual behaviours to what you are familiar with – maybe trying something new or trying to stand up for themself?
- Looking different, having a unique appearance – maybe trying to be seen, stand out, be them, express themselves in different ways?
Show compassion and share some love towards others who may have an uncomfortable past ‘story’. Give an ear to truly listen and hear them, show them your heart and emanate some love, these things alone heal, bring connection and show support.
Everyone’s story is POWERFUL. Don’t hide it because of shame, own it, all of it, even the bad ugly parts. These parts made you fight harder, get up again and push ahead and know exactly what and who you do and don’t want in your life. These parts are responsible for carving you, the beautiful you that stares deeply into your eyes in the mirror each day. Don’t disregard these parts of yourself, own them, thank them and if you no longer need them, and you have learned the lesson they were there to teach you, let them go so you can step into a new path, go in a different direction, open up a new opportunity and find the best possible future for you. Perhaps a new version of you.
Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in the past or held back by limiting beliefs. Open the gate, walk through and set yourself free to be you, all of you RIGHT NOW. Embrace you and step into the life you want to create. YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT exactly as you are, BELIEVE IT
ANXIETY ~ 17 August 2020
How is everyone feeling as we go into week 3 of Stage 4 lockdown in Melbourne?
I have noticed my clients and those around me are really feeling the anxiety, not of being in lockdown so much, but of when life will get back to some normality. They are questioning will they ever see their friends and family in the normal ways again, be able to gather as a group and just be free to connect, hug and kiss their tribe. Be able to get the mask off and be able to breathe and express themselves freely.
So many people I am treating are finding that wearing a mask is making them anxious and feeling smothered and trapped underneath and so controlled they feel they lose their ability to express themselves authentically. Not to mention the rashes and discomfort, etc. from wearing them for extended periods of time.
Then there’s the whole trying to home school, look after kids and work all at the same time, to say life is challenging at the moment is definitely an understatement and certainly brings up bouts of anxiety and frustration for many, including me.
For me, I miss teaching my students and being in the classroom sharing my knowledge and love of Kinesiology and my Emotions and Metaphysical Kinesiology modality. And not knowing when I can teach in-person again with groups of 20 students is hard and a little heart-breaking as I love it so much. However, I enjoying being adaptable and coming up with new, fresh and exciting ways to do things, including teaching online.
A few years ago I created my ‘MIND CHILL’ Balancing Oil to combat anxiety and over-thinking. It has 5 powerful essential oils and an Amethyst crystal in the bottle plus it is charged up and activated with Sound, Colour, Crystals and Nature’s Healing Chi. It encompasses the energy of: PRESENT BREATHE CONFIDENT. It is my go to bottle at the moment especially during the working week and brings me much comfort to stay present in the moment.
To find out more about this beautiful remedy or to own one yourself head to my website: https://bythebaykinesiology.com.au/product/mind-chill-balancing-oil/
FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS ~ 3 August 2020
Life is absolutely challenging everyone in Melbourne at the moment and rightly so with new tighter lockdown restrictions now in place. These restrictions will have you feeling all sorts of emotions and you are 100% allowed to feel how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t feel a certain way – YOU CAN.
- If you feel ANGRY, feel it.
- If you feel FEAR, feel it.
- If you feel FLAT or SAD, feel it.
- If you feel GRIEF, feel it.
- If you feel ANNOYED, feel it.
- If you feel OVERWHELMED, feel it.
- If you feel LOST or UNCERTAINTY, feel it.
Feeling your emotions is SO important and is the gateway to healing. You are a human being with human emotions, going through a global pandemic, it would be unusual if you didn’t feel anything. You cannot step into healing emotions, pain or stress without feeling what you feel first. Feeling after all is the healing.
Be kind to yourself over the coming weeks and allow yourself some time to sit with your emotions. Even write them down and try some deep breathing exercises to help process and lift the heaviness while perhaps smelling an essential oil that you love. The moment you become aware of how you feel and give yourself permission to feel the way you feel, you will quite often find you feel lighter already by just acknowledging your emotions and feelings. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals. Find a way to connect with others to share your feelings. Being heard in times like these is crucial to your mental health.
I am here running online sessions if you need to be heard and process some emotions. Sending everyone big hugs and so much love during these challenging, isolating and uncertain times. Take care xx
PRESSURE ~ 27 July 2020
How much pressure have you been putting on yourself? Are you being kind and gentle with yourself during these challenging COVID times?
It has been a very triggering, depressing and interesting time of late and I know I have been putting unreasonable pressure on myself to keep on top of things and keep pushing ahead when I should be nurturing myself more with some downtime to process life as it is at the moment.
Making time to process all the emotions I feel about everything that is happening in ‘life’ and how universal events are affecting me, my family, my friends, my business, my clients, my colleagues, my everyday activities, and to be honest, my life. It’s exhausting just thinking about it and extremely overwhelming trying to process everything and come up with solutions when there really isn’t any.
If you feel the same, the best advice I can provide is allow yourself to be in the moment, just be you and feel everything you feel. In doing this you will lift out of the hole you have felt like you are in and slowly start to find a different lighter version of you so you can function during these uncertain times.
Breathe, focus on the now and take small steps, even tiny footsteps, and focus on the things you can control, you can do, you can achieve, no matter how small. In the times we are in, just achieving small things and ticking things off the ‘to do list’ will make you feel like you are moving forward (even if ever so slightly), rather than in a downward spiral leading to more darkness.
Life as we knew it won’t be the same for quite some time (if ever again) and the goal posts will inevitably keep changing and moving, sometimes for the better and other times for the worst. The best thing we can do is stay present, focus on what we can control and keep our mind fluid and flexible so when things change, which they will, we can continue to find small ways to move forward with our own lives.
To everyone who is doing it tough out there, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. Sending healing, light and love xx
REASSURANCE ~ 15 July 2020
There is such a craving in society at the moment, and especially in Melbourne, for some reassurance. Reassurance that this time will pass, that we will be moving forward, that a version of ‘normal’ (whatever that looks like) will return and that we are free to create, plan and live our lives however we choose.
So many people that I have seen in clinic this week or spoken to are in states of despair. Feeling flat, lonely, isolated, defeated, doubting and unsure what tomorrow holds not to mention next week, next month or the foreseeable future.
It is incredibly difficult seeing people in so much trauma and heartache, that for some has no end date and so their life is on hold and they feel they are in a downward spiral. They are so desperately seeking to find any forward momentum but feel like they are walking backwards. It’s times like these that we must ask our friends, family, neighbours, colleagues… are you really ok? Or just acknowledge that perhaps they are not and be there for them.
Most people in these situations don’t want a solution, and there probably isn’t one for them right now, but what they want and what they so desperately need is a hug (human touch can be so healing) and someone to truly HEAR them. They don’t need your advice or solutions to an unsolvable out of their control problem. They just need non-judgemental ears and for someone to spend time connecting and listening to them. They need reassurance that this time, this phase, this chapter will pass and they will get through it, they will come out the other side and they will eventually be able to move forward with their life and their plans.
Check in on your tribe. Be aware of what is happening with your most nearest and dearest, offer a kind ear, soft touch and loving support, just know that alot of people aren’t ok right now.
We can’t all be all ok at the same time, but your time will come. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Speak up and ask for support, being heard and assured is incredibly healing for the Soul. Take care of you and those around you. xx
EVERY PHYSICAL SYMPTOM, ACHE, PAIN, AREA OF DISCOMFORT OR DIS-EASE IN YOUR BODY HAS AN EMOTION ATTACHED TO IT ~ 6 July 2020
Is your body talking to you with physical aches, pain, areas of discomfort or dis-ease hidden deep with the body? All of these things started from an unprocessed emotion or emotions.
You cannot have pain, stress or dis-ease in the body without it stemming from an emotion. The cause of the emotion could be from hours, days, weeks, months or even years prior to the pain starting. Chronic pain, stress or dis-ease usually stem back years.
As an Emotions and Metaphysical Kinesiologists, we tap into the stress in the body and age recess to look for the cause of dis-ease long before the symptoms showed to find the connection to what caused the area of the body to become weak and therefore attracting pain, stress and dis-ease.
Every part of the body also has a metaphysical connection, so not only is the body wanting to process the emotion but it is trying to get your attention with the pain and tell you something. It is having a conversation with you. It is trying to show you the lesson so you can grow and keep moving forward.
Our bodies are incredible at hiding emotions within and equally incredible at being able to process emotions and heal back to a state of perfect balance equilibrium.
If you have physical symptoms, pain or dis-ease try to find the thread that leads you back to the cause, tap into the emotion that was happening at that time, feel it and then the body will be able to process the emotion, heal it and the physical symptoms, pain and stress will often just melt away. The body is truly remarkable and you can heal yourself.
LONELINESS ~ 4 July 2020
If you are feeling isolated, lonely, sad and disconnected from people and life, I am here to support you. Here are some simple and easy things you can do to lift your spirits and assist you to feel more connected within.
To reconnect to your beautiful heart try some of these:
- Less social media, internet scrolling & technology
- More outside time in nature and in the sunshine (when it does shine)
- Exercise, even just a 15 min walk to clear the mind and invigorate the body
- Reach out to others (a friend, neighbour, colleague, local) and make a time to catch up and connect in person or online so you can physical see each other
- If you don’t already have one, look at getting a pet companion and spend time connecting with and cuddling your fur friend
- Smell basil, cinnamon, lime or tea tree essential oils to bring a light energy and deeper connection in the heart
- Wear Heart Connection Balancing Oil – Love Purpose Connection – to seep into the skin and heal from the inside out
- Place or wear chrysoprase and sunstone crystals on the body to bring forward movement, light, hope, trust, warmth, self-worth, energy and ability to follow the heart
- Surround yourself with or wear yellow and orange colours
- Buy yourself some bright coloured flowers – you deserve it!
- Rub CV17 acupressure point located on the midline of the chest to activate your heart energy
- Hold your hand over your heart area while saying the affirmation “We are all connected, we are all one.”
When we feel connected within ourselves we then feel more connected outside of ourselves and attract like minded energy to us.
BREAKDOWN or BREAKTHROUGH ~ 28 June 2020
Let’s be honest, no one enjoys a breakdown, but sometimes (actually quite often) what follows a breakdown is a breakthrough. It is the Universe’s way of getting your attention.
Yes the breakdown can be terrible, hard, tough, emotional, traumatic, painful, depressing, devastating, heart breaking and quite possibly Soul destroying. You may feel like you are deep in the darkness, and you probably are.
However, if you can connect to the feelings inside of you, really feel the emotions, process the breakdown for what it is, stay present in the moment and understand the lessons to be learned from it, you will emerge brighter, lighter, and more connected than you ever thought possible.
Discovering the silver linings and metaphors for the breakdown will take you out of the darkness and into the light and maybe even enlightenment. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and when you reach it you will find a new version of you. A better, more connected, stronger and wiser you. You will see a new and different perspective, a fresh way to view your life with clean, clear eyes. You will find a pathway to follow to allow you to take the first step in moving forward in your life to heal the wounds from the breakdown.
Life is always providing lessons, it is just whether we see the lessons, take responsibly for our part in the breakdown and pull ourselves out of it to have a breakthrough. Remaining open is key. We all deserve to live our lives to our fullest and greatest potential, full of love.
If you are going through a breakdown, be kind and soft with yourself and know the light is coming. Rest, restore, recharge and rest some more. Reach out to those around you, speak to friends or people you trust and that truly hear you and go gently forward. Know that this phase will soon pass, and what you’ve learnt from it, plus how much you’ve grown from it is more than worth it. You’ve got this! Sending love.
DEPRESSION ~ 26 June 2020
Depression is the bodies way of signalling that something is not right. Something from your past is troubling you, stuck or held in your body and has not been resolved. It may be a relationship, friendship, family issue, dealings with others, work stress, trauma, abuse, accident, loss, grief, guilt, hardship, suppressed memory, old pain or a circumstance or situation that was left in a bad light that pains you or makes you uncomfortable.
Depression does not live in your future, it is connected to some part of your past. These unresolved painful and sad feelings from perhaps your childhood or long ago in your past can over time then trigger the body to become imbalanced and feel depressed, and for life to be difficult and hard to live where each day feels like a battle. Even just a battle to get up and face your life. The life you have created which you may subconsciously no longer want or feel connected to. A life that you may be in and part of, but that doesn’t feel like you anymore. A life you would like to change, evolve or grow from or perhaps it is just about being freed from something that happened in your past so you are able to be present in the moment in your life and to love and enjoy your life to its fullest without the dark cloud or shadow constantly hovering above.
The only way to fully heal depression is to clear the link to the past that holds you back from moving forward. It requires lots of deep emotional work to find the reason behind the depression from long before it started. To heal those feelings and memories from that situation that are holding you back from being able to BE in the moment.
Often depression is suppressed with medication to enable people to live their life and function and they often do feel better, however the pain or emotion unfortunately has not gone it has just been pushed down a little further into the mental, emotional and physical body, and over time will pop its ugly head back up to be dealt with.
Healing the layers of past pain and finding a place of comfort and happiness within is vital in healing depression. Be strong, dive deep and you will come out the other end as a blossoming flower. You’ve got this.
THE OPPOSITE OF ADDICTION IS CONNECTION ~ 16 June 2020
What’s your addiction? We all have them whether it’s alcohol, chocolate, drugs, social media, food, smoking, coffee, exercise, cleaning, prescription meds, sleeping tablets, work, painkillers, gambling, shopping, sex, internet…. the list goes on. Are you even able to recognise your own addiction?
Have you ever thought about why you are so dependent and in need of your addiction? It is a very interesting topic, yet so very simple. Most people get addicted to things because they lack CONNECTION. Yes they may feel down, flat or even depressed but normally because they feel no connection in their life and have nothing positive to look forward to.
One way to heal your addictions is to find a thread of connection to yourself and others and then you are less likely to ‘need’ anything else. Your heart will feel full and complete. Your mind won’t be controlled by something outside of yourself because it will be content within.
With connection comes the ability for your energy to move from your mind and head down into your beautiful and powerful heart and back into the strong temple called your body. When your head takes over, people can often lean on addictions to shut off or shut up and quieten the mind.
So if you feel the pull of an addiction, try to be present, focus on connecting with yourself and the things in life that bring you joy, no matter how small, and go within to find peace, love and contentment.